Identical oranges

I like oranges. Not the color.

Its difficult to decide which out of the three orange to eat first. They are all similar. If they were different I could determine the choice of order based on the differential factor.

How can I conclusively choose a favorite out of three identical objects?

Historically, I have always picked the one which was more easily accessible. Not sure if it the ideal approach.

Just realized, it was very lazy of someone to name a fruit by its color. The integrity of the entire shade is diminished.

Also it is confusing. Just like orange traffic lights. What were they thinking? We can either stop or go. Is their a third option?

Call me a loser, but I stop at orange lights and think.

Microsoft excel tips (not for beginners)

Finally I have decided to make my blog useful. Here are some useful Microsoft excel tips.

How can we link a cel to an already related cel, without creating a circular loop using vlookup?

Well, please don't put a lot of thought into this. It cannot be done. Attempting to do this is like challenging simple laws of the mathematics like addition and subtraction. Thats why we need unconventional method.

Type "857UY_" in the first cel and click F9. Using a USB port, connect your PC to a washing machine and press the start button in the washing machine. Wait for a few seconds. If you feel like staring at any cel (in the excel sheet), do not resist. And remeber, never press Alt+F+C.

Alternatively, try jumping off the window. It may not work, but there is no harm in trying.

If nothing works, try my backup plan. I give you three words. "Om Namah Shivay". Keep repeating this till you see a white light. Do not let go of it. You can direct all your excel related questions to it.

Enough of this non- sense, now I will tell you something on a serious note. Excel can teach us lessons of life.

If you reduce the font size, it does not reduce the file size.

Long live microsoft excel!!!

How much should I recline on my chair to maximize productivity?

How much should I recline on my chair to maximize productivity?

I adjust it from time to time to suit my motivational level. It was before a month when I also realized I could adjust its distance from the ground.

I can run a maxima and minima test using calculus based derivatives to arrive at the ideal angle. Instead I use trial and error method.

Many physiological and seasonal factors derive my dynamic and ever changing relation with my chair. I sometimes give more importance to my relative angular elevation of my eyes to the PC than the comfortable placement of my hands so that it can move freely between the mouse and keyboard.

I feel like the master of the chair. With great power comes great responsibility. So I try not to be too comfortable.

No matter what I do my angle of recline will always be a supplementary angle (that is it adds up to 180*) to its adjacent angle. I guess complaining about universal and all pervading laws of physics is extreme pessimism.

Although I have full sympathies for people who are currently sitting on an ordinary chair, I feel blessed that Irevna gives me the flexibility.

I sit on the chair, looking back at what lead me to my seat. I feel the power. I feel the opportunities in different styles I can adjust the chair.

But unfortunately I also believe in destiny. That’s me surrendering.

If only the still waters of the night could write.....

Finally I found a place to rest my mind.

Its a showdow of a forest reflected in the river that flows there. The flowing river stilled by the night. Just enough light to see the faded horizon. Life stands motionless, darkened and deactivated. Temporarily, the night beauty of the Malayali land of coconuts became the state of my mind. Is it the Periyar river, where the Malu girls get their eyes from?

A purple shade spread evenly throughout.

I searched for the reflection of the stars in the water. I searched for the forest by itz edge. I searched for the last signs of night, before morning light would break the silence. I searched for a destination for my eyes. I knew we were close to the sea and I was hungry for the seagulls meat.

Did the birds know it was night? Were the fishes asleep?

It was the kind of night sky that hides within itz vastness the truth from those who have false dreams under roofs of thatched hay and grilled window.

The magnitude of the stars brought loneliness. How could I carry the itz burden when they themselves had taught me insignificance. It felt like a vacumn where the dead goes in silence for a rest. Like a white flower blooming softly by the silver moon.

They say we should not live in the past or future. I was not even experiencing the present moment. I was experiencing the eternal in the motionless water.

If only the still waters of the night could write, I wouldn’t be chewing what I write with.

Is rise in sugar prices good for fat people?

What is a giffen goods really?

Is it only bread buns sold to unskilled Afro- American workers by the Democrats in 1910? The economists should move on.

Rise is sugar price might seem like people will reduce its intake, but thats when the giffin's law comes in. Since price of sugar rises, people just might substitue sugar to other products they cannot really afford now. Then the elasticity of demand for sugar becomes backward sloping.

Everyone needs sugar in their life. They need it more, when its costly.

The pink elephant is sitting on the sofa

It is so on our face.

What is going on. Life with all its logical reasoning seems improbable. Something is wrong somewhere. There is something about life and all existence that doesn’t add up.

The often ignored fabric of the universe is so fundamental to all that is. There is an obvious question that is inherently screamed at us in every motion we perceive. Why are we not amazed?

At the base of everything is emptiness. Why are we not able to perceive this pointless vacuum of dark silent inactivity that would eventually nullify anything we do.

No matter how our life changes, the stars would always remain the same.

Aurobindo's full name was not Rabindra Nath Tagore!

“But I thought you were a Rabindra Nath fan”

That was Richa when she saw a confused look on my face when she got me a Sri Aurobindo’s picture from Podicherry.

She though Sri aurobindo’s full name was Rabindra Nath Tagore!!

Rabindra Nath Tagore was a great poet, novelist, short-story writer, essayist, playwright, thespian, educationist, spiritualist, philosopher, internationalist, cultural relativist, orator, composer,song-writer, singer, artist. Itz insulting when you call such a great person by a name, what is not his name. Knowing her, I did not take offence. She actually thought Boston Tea party was an actual party attended by the Democrats.

I remember her in college when we had anyone’s birthday celebration. She would be drawn by the smell of it. She was capable of snatching the cake from the birthday girl’s/boy’s mouth and chewing it in front of her/him

When she got placed she remarked- “I am so happy that I am not hungry.”

She ate anyway.

If I was asked to sum her philosophy of life, I would first pretend to think. Then would attempt to word it in the following sentence-

One shouldn’t be so attached to a cake, that he/she cant even eat it.

I found a key, but I dunno what it opens.

What would you do with a key which doesn’t open anything you can think of?

I found it in a box. Its one of those boxes where I keep things, I am not sure what to do with. Although I never use them, I never find a heart to throw them away.

I guess everyone has such a box.

The key is a long one. It looks like it opens something more concrete than those loose locks that can be thrown. It surely opens something that is attached to the wall like an cupboard or something.

Some people collect such keys. All the keys would be stacked together somewhere, along with the extra keys (duplicate of a key they are actively using), which they refer to in case they are not able to open something. I think it makes them feel like they have the situation under control at any point.

Anyway, this is my first encounter with an unknown key. The decision I take would be crucial as it will determine my future decisions regarding keys.

As of now, writing a blog on it did not help.

My factual nightmare

Although this post might make me seem like a wanna-be, I have decided to risk it.

As a child I had a nightmare which is hard to describe. It would come to me when I would be alone, generally in the middle of the night. It was like the silence before the storm. Something would be moving so smoothly like itz almost evil. It would gain speed at an accelerating rate. It could not be controlled. Its like something would rise so big inside me that my limited self would be afraid of it. It’s like the fear of looking down from a height which is increasing exponentially every passing moment. A feel of getting away from everything that is familiar. The happenings would appear irreversible. Itz like a feel of being trapped in something uncomfortable with no perceptible escape. Like we are going deeper and deeper in the depths of the ocean with no sign of life. Like a lift that takes you under- towards our planetary centre. Something that is already bad is getting worse very smoothly and without any resistance. The walls would appear smooth in the dim lights only affirming this feel. The fan would form a rhythmic beat which would get in line with what was going inside me. Its like a soft whisper trying to seduce my mind into what appeared evil or unpleasant, nevertheless irresistible. Something would be closing in on my very fast. Its speed suggested that it should have already reached me, but somehow it wouldn’t but its speed kept on increasing. It was like a sleeping giant has been awoken very gently inside me, and itz too late to control him.

In those times, I failed to deny the feeling. They were as real to me as anything I can see, touch or hear physically. At that moment, it was to me- factual. All my capabilities of being self aware would be lost, loosing all control of everything. Everything collapsed in a strange sense of chaos. I was so lonely and afraid of myself.

Many years later, I had that feeling again, while doing twin heart meditating. I somehow knew what was going on inside my body. I got a sense of its source. From that day onwards the feeling never came back. Although I vaguely remember my nightmare, now, I cannot experience the feel of it.

All humbled, I see who lead me to my present.

Yawning is not the best HR strategy!

When someone yawns in front of me, I for a fraction of seconds feel like my life is a painful burden with no objective whatsoever and everything I do would eventually lead to boredom and inactivity and therefore death. My thinking rate slows down. Everything around me starts happening in slow motion.

When Agnes told me she was going for an interview, I was very worried about something. "Please don't yawn or sit with you arms crossed at any point of the interview, no matter how sleepy you just might feel. "

During MBA, we would often spot Agnes yawning with arms crossed in a very disturbing fashion. Oblivious to those who watched she would actively engage herself with this daring act of stretching her every muscle in and around her mouth with minimum or no effort to constrain herself to match the social setting she would phisically be in completely disregarding anything that goes on in her background.

Sometimes she would yawn while I was talking to her. She wouldnt even wait for me to complete the sentence, however relevant they might be. I think it was also her feedback mechanism.

Now she is an HR manager of a prospering company. I am very worried. Yawning catches up and spread very fast. Think what would happen to a company where the HR manager is always yawning. It would not exactly be very motivating.

An HR manager should never yawn.

I wish I could title this without using words

Whats with words anyway? Can I not communicate anything without them? Isnt thought different from thought quality? Is that why everyone insists to hear it from the horses mouth, bringing in an additional dimension people don't understand? We should realise that spoken words are mere sounds not meaning anything more than random noises we hear in our daily lives, unless they are spoken without thoughts. Thoughts are lies we tell ourselves unless we realise the plurality of the content. The problem comes when the plurality confuses more than limiting things to one reality. Thats why reality remains only in our minds which most people anyway consider unreal. Thats the problem with creation and all itz fragmentation. We cannot think from the base. Every thought when expressed should have an inherent question- "Where does words originate?" or why is it that a particular sound thought by me refers to something definite in this comparatively relative world. I sometimes indirectly ask people- "How is it to find yourself living as a thinker different than me?" May be I ask the question wrong but the answer is still pending. A wrong question cannot conclusively mean it does not have an answer. Answers are like infinity. They raise more questions than they answer. Thats the problem with modern science in all itz glory. We need acknowledgement of the unreal. Thats when we stop walkin straight and look for equations in oceans. When each waves may not relate to an accurate equation but just might happen to be the result of it. Thats what people mistook at probability. Einstein literally and intellectually spit on such unmathematical theorems. Thats where his belief overtook his intellectual capacity. He simply acknowledged the source of where his thoughts came from. His surrender was his acknowledgement to the (as Adam Smith would put it) invisible hand. This means you should lock your doors even when you believe in God. In todays world buying stamps would be like inventing a time machine and going back time. We forget to greet a postmen disrespect of what letter he brings. Sun shines disrespect of evolution as the survival of the fittest also depends on the source from where this theory also comes. All argument can dissolve when we talk of space or time. "Space" and "time" are the two most misunderstood terms. If we understand any of the two words, our life would change within a fraction of what we call seconds. This could seem impossible as we give too much importance to time. We should consider time without the continuity of space. Thats when our thoughts would fail us and bring us back to our foundation of this existence. The very definition of time is by space. The very opposite is also true. Everything we say, may be true only when the very opposite is also a possibility. This means that the word inherent has no use in our language as someting inherent has no need to be pointed out. The very subject would fails itz cause. I think thats why people dont get the ultimate answers to "Who am I?". If you knew the question properly, your logical mind and emotional ability would have nothing else to react to. Perfection may not lead to the end we desire. We need to tread the path nevertheless. Its like following the light without impulsive desires. We dont enjoy the feeling after something good is over. I guess living in the moment is not over rated. All theories of life combined would ask me to stop typing words which cannot be concluded thus not giving us concrete results. How can something that is concrete make way for thought as its beyond time and space. What if there was no time. I would have to be one thing forever. Then I would get no time to also choose what I want to be. Then I could not be blamed for being what I shouldnt be. If we extended this concept, a philosopher could say there is no good or bad. That itself is a bad statement. The philosopher cannot possibly argue as then he would have to loose his consciousness and become one with all that is indefinite, therefore by the philosophy of time, imortal. Immortals cannot argue as they cannot communicate with the immortals. Thats why an average mind cannot conceive them. Itz almost like definition of a God. God is not really a definition but recognition of the indefinable. Everything cannot be defined by this mere existence. We cannot deny our thoughts. We are more than out phisical self. Its as true as this phisical universe with all itz exacting laws combines. A flower is always incorrectly conceived by a physicist. A poet can only believe that the miner standing next to a gold mine is lying. Itz like playing with a pen next to one's eye lid. There is a reason we close our eyes. The truth might not be the best outcome destined for a naked man with only colours to recognise that thoughts are just indications to all that is physical and secondary to what they percieve to be themselves. All these words really mean the same thing. I cant think of a specific word for it. Just ask yourself "Who is it that is reading this specific line." If we hold on to this thought, our life may change within splits of seconds as time looses any meaning. That also is true for space, all form of life or even this specific line. Please think. Cows are not really abducted by aliens. Itz what the impossibility of existence itself makes us belief. Thats what humour is all about. Laughing at anything that goes against what we are made to believe normal, as impracticle it may be. If writing this is a proof to my existence, creation is a proof to God. How can I believe in what is proven. Thats where my sense of humour comes in. Thats when the joker laughs at us and questions what we call humanity and itz assumuptions. He is not different, but simply more curious. His eyes have the temporary solution where eventuality seems like nothingness in vacuum without the dimention of time, space and the theory of continuity. Lets stop living without a voice. Lets not say things that has already been spoken. Make a new sound. It just might mean more than words. Just like words never limit a poet's imagination, we should say things without meaning. It seems like I have been writing forever. But there has to be a start point. All lights have a beginning which is different from its source. Lets not pretend we have it all figured out. A penguin would think we look weird. We should atleast give them the benefit of doubt, or atleast there ice caps. I am not sure what ozone layer is but it doesnt look good. Our life should be no different than penguins. Inaction would not be the result of laziness but due to understanding of the ultimate eventuality disrespect of our action which are almost negligible given the universe we conceive or pretend to conceive or doing both at the same time. I hope, what I was trying to say was a little help to confuse you so that you were atleast aware of the non- factual chaos.Awareness is the first step towards disregarding evolotionary plan. Itz like a kid knowing there is no Santa Clause.

Keep it real. Long live words.

Its not in the nature of our mind to comprehend free fall!

Are my shortcommings natural to me?

I was argued that they are. I disagree.

Naturally, I am a self proclaimed, God sent, pure, super perfect, extremely intelligent genius with no deficiencies whatsoever. My imperfections are reflections of all that is not natural to me or mind.

Its not in the nature of water to drown someone. So what? Nevertheless people drown when nature takes its course.

A free fall might seem like an impossibility. Thats just because it cannot happen physically.

Burn all the litmus paper, or eat it.

I remember doing little experiments in lab with litmus papers. If it turned red, we could conclude the sample was an acid and if it turned blue, we could conclude it was a base. So far so good.

But why does the litmus paper change its colour? Why does the difference between acids and bases exists in the first place? What makes the chemicals react in the same way all the time given certain defined factors? How is it that we find ourselves surrounded by these all pervasive extremely accurate and precise laws of universe which has a complete and inevitable command over our physical existence to the very last decimal point in any given space and time? What really is time and space anyway with context to my mind? Who am I and what is it that I find myself living?

I guess modern science has enslaved us with their intimidating theories making us too lazy and therefore incapable to interpret life for ourselves pretending to do the thinking for the rest of us. Any solution they give would raise follow-up questions which would in turn lead to the base of stuff which can unfortunately only be explained by the unexplainable.

We need to look inside to find the little kid who asks a lot of questions with their inaccurate but innocent accent. See things as if you are looking at it for the same time. Be amazed by everything that may or may not exist. Act like a kid. Either burn or eat all the litmus paper. Modern science can pretend they have all the answers.

But what about our follow up question?

Where do all my pens go?

Whatever happens to all my pens.

I am buying pen for the last 20 years but I still don't have a pen.

I take a pen every week from office stationary. I don't know what it feels like when one runs out of ink while writing a pen. I have never experienced it.

I have lost so many pens itz not funny. Where do all of them go? They must be somewhere.

If you think about it, my question in itself is faulty. If I knew where they go, I wouldn't have really lost it.

I guess these are things I will never know, by definition. Just like we would never know if the refrigerator's light really closes when we close its door.

Catch myself sleep

I have made many unsuccessful attempts to catch myself sleep. I guess my unconscious will never get to meet my conscious mind!!!

I lie on the bed all aware of thoughts. I try to closely follow the chain of what I am thinking so that I can track my last thought before I get unconscious due to the sleep. It mysteriously never works.

I sometimes have another problem. I become aware of my thoughts and before I realise it, the awareness becomes my thoughts. The more I try to fight it, it gets more complicated. Well, I am fighting it out in my thoughts. I think about what I shouldn't be thinking and as the chain of thoughts progresses I loose track of the exercise.

How am I suppose to tell my mind not to think anything, without thinking?

To incorrectly quote Shakespeare (he said this in Latin)- "It is dream stuff we are made of."

Trust me, this one thought can change your life upside down in a fraction of seconds. Just like only when someone is woken up from his sleep and realises all he/she was dreaming is unreal (while asleep the dream seems real), life just could be a sleep where our every comprehension is a dream and therefore unreal.

Someone just might wake me up in some other world and I would stop dreaming, and everything as I shift my consciousness out cease to exist.

I am never confident about buying fruits

Some people over indulge themselves in buying fruits.

When I visit the fruit monger there would be people who act like fruit experts. They will press the fruit a little. Toss it like they are trying to feel the weight of the fruit. They will turn it around checking the colour all around it. They will select each fruit with so much care.

Although I have all due respect to those guys, I avoid eye contacts. I can feel their judging eyes when I stand there not touching the fruits I am buying.

Buying fruits make me feel dumb. So I pretend to understand fruits. I copy them. I act very choosy. I randomly pick up the fruits pretending a lot of thought has gone behind my selection.

In Gita (Chapter 18- Moksha Sanyas yog) its written-

"O Arjuna, when one ..............renounces all material association and all attachment to the fruit, his renunciation is said to be in the mode of goodness"

Well, atleast I only pretent to be attached to them.

Discussion in English on the importance of Hindi

A group of young friends meet after a long time. They sat all night discussing patriotism and itz implications on language with context to its objective in relation to India. We had clearly run out of conversations.

All argued the importance of hindi in English. Everyone said Hindi should be given more importance than state languages as it could unite India. Also, it made patriotic sense.

I have logically thought myself out of patriotism. To me someone saying Hindi should be learned by all Indians is as bad a logic as someone saying Marathi should be learned by all Marathis.

Everyone contributed. Lohit called me a hypocrite as I carried a passport. In my defence, getting a passport was not an emotional decision. Harsha backed her incorrect logic with unheard, generalised , possibly incorrect, qualitative data quoting no source of the information. She said things like learning Hindi can help people earn their living. Well if you learn Marathi, you can drive taxis in Mumbai (Hehehehehe). There were points when Deon's eyes rolled up as if he is trying to make up his mind. Every time he did that he gave me some hope that I would have some support only to shatter it almost immediately. I am sure Shradha made some good points which I cannot recall (I am not sure if this is relevant to the topic, but one of Shradha's aunt try to speak Gujrati to me. I dint know how to react. I dint). Richa used an approach of falsifying the opponent's point by proving it redundant thereby confirming her point due of lack of choice. She asked-

"If not Indian then what is one's identity?"

"Before you ask this question, you have to ask yourself who is it that is asking the question."

There was no follow up question. Agnes had had it.

"If you dont shut up, I will lock you up in the room with Sherwin and Mili."

They were in the room confirming their newly discovered identities more than anyone to themselves. If objective of language is communication, they were communicating the highest form of human emotion- love, but not in Hindi.

Also, Agnes should have considered before making such statements how awkward it would have made the three of us feel.

Christian marriage and a contextual priest

When I met Sherwin for the first time, I thought he was already married.

Recently he did get married to the love of her life. Now we can truly say- Sherwin ko koi Mili.....hehehe (By my immediate previous joke, my blog reaches a new low.)

I will never forget the father who presided over his wedding. He tried too hard to be contextual. He had this exceptional ability to take unrelated things with his flawed logic and relate it to the present occasion.

He opined since Sherwin was orginally from Middle East, he would bring international standards in SBI. He also said since Sherwin had specialised in Engineering, knowing computers helps a man think logical and therefore Sherwin would be a good husband.

Nevertheless, he also said, since Mili professionally worked with the Deaf and the Dumb, she could help Sherwin communicate with her better.

Sherwin had one complain with the priest. During the marriage Father did not ask him to kiss the bride. He approached me to get them remmaried. I did not agree-

"But for that I would either need to buy a ship or take a vow of celibacy"

I would rather have him kiss her in his own personal time.

May God bless their happy ending :)

I am not good at tearing papers in a straight line

Where do you record pieces of information which you need only for a few minutes?

There are times in office when I have to quickly write down some information like phone numbers, a figure, a name etc. Mostly the information's utility lasts for maximum an hour before we can move on with our normal lives.

For this, I tear pieces of papers from the back of my reletively empty note pad in an extremely disturbing manner. Its very embarrasing, specially if someone is watching. I have realised- I am just not gifted in tearing papers straight.

I also have a stick-on but I use it very sparingly. Before writing anything on it, I mentally calculate whether the piece of information is worth wasting a stick-on paper. I generally end up not using it.

My office life would be much easier, if I could tear papers in a straight line.

The call

Someone calls me in silence.

I find myself too preoccupied with more unimportant things to do than answer my own voice of silence. I stare at the truth and choose the unreal. I consciously pick the underdog.

The day I was aware of the call (thanks to pranic healing), my life changed. Its like someone telling you the end of a murder mystery book/movie. I cannot ignore it anymore. I reached a point of no return.

Sometimes when I am enjoying with my friends in a party, I hear a whisper. Everything fades into the background. I know the unreal. I continue with awareness for a while before my distractions gets louder.

Day after day, I forget to pay attention to my silence, but atleast itz somewhere there popping up at every given opportunity never giving up on me.

Sometimes, I look into a mirror with amazement as my search into how I find myself living echoes through my eyes. I feel scared of myself.

I have had sleepless nights with such thoughts.

My life needs a footnote

I have a problem- I forget to catch myself think what I think.

Sometimes, when the "evening shadows deapen", I ask myself some fundamental questions. How has any of those hundred billion thoughts I had through out the day made any difference to me or this planet in the long or short run?

I have spent 20 years of my life without a footnote.

Thats where my thoughts came in. I had had it with my inattentive thoughts. I typed in bold letters using impact font and took the print.

I hung what was not just a piece of paper but my sole source of light showing me the first step to the path leading to as some Tibetans would like to call it Tao and hung it on the board next to my computer.

"Be aware of your thoughts"

I wonder what I was thinking.

Map and a mirror

Its very scary.

If you look into a mirror, that is placed in front of another mirror, the reflection goes on till infinity. I had a similar feeling.

I was looking into a map. The map also pointed to the location where the map was placed. So if the map was live, something similar should happen.

There is a reason why maps and mirrors are not real.

Tortoise's planetory support (a new year thought)

All the office decorations is reducing my productivity.

I dont believe in new years. What changes really? Only the unit of measurement. Itz not like our planet is starting a new revolution around the sun. We dont know from what point Earth started revolving around sun.

Once upon a time and space, there lived a great scientist. He was explaining how Earth rotated around the sun. One woman disagreed-

"The truth is that our planet is supported by tortoise".

The point Stephen Hawkings was trying to make was that the story of the tortoise is as vague as any of the scientific theories about the universe. Time and again people like Aristotle, Galileo and Einstien have proven existence science incorrect. I have no reason to believe the current science.

I would celebrate new years once we find out from what point the Earth actually starts its revolution around the sun.

Washing clothes is therapeutic

I am never too sure exactly how much detergent should we use for a bucket of water.

Staying in the hostel away from home, I have learnt that I am not good at something- adding right quantities of things like sugar, detergent, milk powder, salt, etc in water/milk. Its an art only some people possess.

Anyway, I got some interesting fact. Washing clothes can actually positively affect you psychology. This is because when you see dirt come out of your clothes as it is getting cleaned, you feel good about it. It send a very subtle impulse to your brain and you feel cleansed.

I got this information over a coffee chat at work. For some reason my friend had downloaded a Korean movie previous night where apparently one of the actors was a psychologist and happen to wash his own clothes. I was very concerned about one thing.

"By Korean you mean South Korea or North Korea?"

Mr Bush called North Korea axis of evil. As a democrat, how can I believe in what any North Korean say. Karl Marx would never build a nuclear weapon but only fight for the rights of the workers building it.

What would North Korea know about washing clothes?

No man can ever think of himself as non-existent

I have many useless thoughts including this specific one.

Are my thoughts really useless? What is the primary objective of thoughts?

Annie Besant (she is truly the master of fundamental thinking) said it was about defining yourself. All that is is defined by all that is not. So self can be defined by not-self. This not-self is in turn defined by thinking of things as all what I think, are merely thoughts. Thoughts cannot be thinkers.

To sum up knower is not the known by definition.

Knower, knowing and known are different. Thats how I define myself. Thats how I find my separation. Thats where my search for identity ends- by having useless thoughts.

Annie Besant made a very redundant statement-

"No man can ever think of himself as non-existent, or formulate himself to himself in consciousness as "I am not". "

Probably thats why I will never meet my death.

A crisis and a game of monopoly

I remember playing monopoly. It was buying and selling land with made up money.

To quote Marge simpsons- "The game's crazy enough ..... How can an iron be a landlord?"

Its similar to the sub-prime crisis. People created false money to buy and sell lands. The money could either be traced to a loop of creative financial instruments or US Dollars which in turn would lead us to Fed Reserve's overworked dollar printing machine. Everyone felt good for some time. Then, the game got over.

Then they put the money back into the box, and closed it.

Maths can explain why Gabbar laughed so loudly

Hindi movies are more than we give them credit for.

There are always reasons why things get famous. I am talking sholay.

Everyone remembers this scene. He took a six bullet pistol and put in only three bullets and tried shooting his fellow dacoits one by one. None of the first three tries were a hit. Then all of them burst out in uncontrollable laughter.

Why did all of them laugh?

Lets see the probability implication of this evet. The probability that first fire would be empty is 3/6. The probability of second fire being empty is 2/5 and the third fire is 1/4.

Total probability= (3/6)*(2/5)*(1/4)

The probability of that happening was only 5%. Gabbar found humour in the probability trying to protect them from his terror. He laughed at the laws of the universe which thought could defy him. Then he shot them anyway.

Einstien agrees for a completely different reason. To quote him-

"God doesnt play dices."

Cycle seller

There was a boy who wanted to sell his cycle.

I wanted to write a play on him. It was a story about a boy who wanted to write a play about a boy who wanted to write a play about a boy wanted to write a play about a boy who wanted to write a play.......

I think this play can only be acted out in black holes, where circular loops of light are not necessarily connected. Where things travel faster than the speed of light, making time travel possible. A place with no design.

So much for the cycle seller.

Zimbabwe declared inflation illegal

What about the fundamental rights of the economists?

Inflation is a natural occurring economic phenomenon. How can it possibly be declared illegal? They actually arrested some company officials who increased prices.

The inflation of Zimbabwe was so high, the company that printed Zimbabwe currency refused to do so anymore. Government promoted using currencies other than Zimbabwe dollars. Even so, that Zimbabwe's National postal service started charging people postage in US dollars.

It took me some time to count the zeros in their economic numbers. 231000000% is not a very appreciative inflation figure.

This is what a real crisis looks like. A land where probably the cost of paper is more than the denomination of currency printed on it. A land of starving billionaires.

People in Zimbabwe are still not sure how to react-

"I just bought a chicken burger which cost me 30 million Zimbabwean dollars "

And we call what happened in US a crisis? I am not a pessimist, but lets all stop printing dollars.

Who takes care of HR needs of an HR manager?

Agnes has done it again. She took all the trust and Loyalty for her company and back stabbed her immediate boss with it.

But what did she do? She accidentally applied to work for Bharti. So? Little did she realised she was already working there. I don't think her boss would have appreciated it very much.

"What are you still doing here? Dint I fire you last year?"

Think about what her previous boss would feel if he ran into her in one of the office party. People get inspired to grow in an organisation internally. She found a shortcut. As an HR manager, she decided to recruit herself.

We can blame the system. No company takes care of the HR needs of an HR managers. They should have a separate department for the HR needs of the HR department. The separate department will also have HR needs for which another department would be required. And this can go on.

There is no solution. But we cannot blame Agnes for the cosmological problem of the eternal need for circular loops of HR managers going on till infinity which if you think about it hides some answers of life and death.

Congress sent two elephants to Japan

I do not understand diplomacy.

Imagine this. Japanese officials went to recieve the Indian diplomats at the airport. They find two elephants standing next to them. The Indian diplomats insists that they should take home these elephants as gifts from their side. How would the Japanese feel about it? How would they react? (Appearantly in turn the Japanese sent two blue sheeps to India)

Nehru started all this. He forgot that people dont use elephants these days. We have cars and heavy duty vehicles. Now elephants are only used in South Indian temples. Also, forest conservationists do not mind elephants destroying trees as itz supposed to be natural.

Indian human right activist folks objected sending elephants for diplomatic causes. They called it inhuman. Nehru had more things to worry about. Japan had just got out of second world war, they needed some break.

Seinfeld has made a very good point. Human right activists do not care about insects.

Feng Shui Masters see calm stock market in the year of ox.

"You would rather become a fortune teller"
I met a very interesting person. He opined that Fundamental analysis not only dint make sense, but was morally wrong.

The Chinese Feng Shui had better predicted the markets in 2008 than any fundamental analysts. They somehow knew about the meltdown. They called it a year of rats. But good times are expected to come now. The water elementals will somehow cool the stock markets and then in the year of Ox the markets would eventually calm down. Ox is apparently linked to Earth elemental which is relatively calmer than elementals in the year of rats.

I have eventually got some directions. Fundamental analysis without following up with the five elementals of the universe is irresponsible investment advice.

I urgently need a teapot.

I was making a list of things people have gifted me in the last two years-

1. A deodorant
2. A black shirt with words written on it (which is not only offensive to the reader but female gender overall).
3. A pen.
4. A bright red cargo pants which makes me look gay.
5. A mini picture of Sri Aurobindo (the gifter thought it was a picture of Tagore)
6. A music CD with extremely abusive lyrics
7. A half burnt candle
8. A yellow plastic duck.

9. A second hand book.
And yes, someone has promised to buy me a celotape from her first salary.

Now, can someone please buy me some real gifts? Something I can really use. Like a teapot. I dont have a teapot. What should I do when I have to drink tea?

How embarassing would it be if I had to pour tea directly into the cup.

Axis is not an imaginary line

Anil Ambani removes Mukesh from his facebook friend's list, Sensex down 200 points.

I read this in one of the funny news. Anil realised this in a Texas Poker room where his wife could chat with Mukesh, while he could not. Indian stock market got sentimental about it. Its surely funny but also something to think about. We are not even sure how to pronounce finance-

Is it pronounced /fainaens/ or /fInaens/?

The underwear index. The US analysts came up with a new index to measure the economy. They found the sale of underwear in US had fallen due to recession. This was unusual as underwear has always been considered as a necessity than a luxury. They figured that although people still wore underwear, but now they were more dirty.

Is it just me or are we really missing a point here????

Warren Buffet would bank on Earth's axis and buy stocks selling Air Conditioners when the axis running through his part of the planetary hemisphere is away from the sun. As long as we rotate, there will be a day after night and the world will completely turnaround everyday.

There is a reason why Warren would buy sweaters only in summer, because Earth's axis is not an imaginary line.

Horse's latitude

Would anyone buy numbers?

We can call SBI a risk taker. They took two core marketing students from LIBA and gave them core finance job. How creative? What can a marketing guy do with all those numbers.

I partially believed in communism before I met Sherwin last week. If you take a view from the top, you will see mortal remains of what was once a fully flourished hair of young hearted man. Whatever SBI did to this man from middle east.

"May I please go to the toilet?"

It seems he asks his manager in office everytime he needs to go. But then why is he smiling? And what is horse's latitude?

Horse's latitude (also known as subtropical high) is the region between 30 to 35 degrees North and South of the equator. Legend tells us that around this region sailors for religious objectives threw horses into the sea. Some now think it was to help the ships pass through the storms caused by high pressure around that region.

He knows in times of trouble, the Government will collect taxes from us civilians and pay him his salary. A private company wouldn't care less. As we saw in 2008 meltdown, completely useless companies firing completely useless people.

Government job may make you fat, but atleast you would never feel jettisoned.

Don't read this, or else you will get a little bit dumber!

Am I writing this? Please dont read this particular paragraph as it will prove a complete waste of your time and effort. I have nothing really to write about. So there will be no value addition whatsoever if you read this. So the next thought is that if I am writing about nothing, what should be the content. Its funny that the fact that I have nothing to write about is the content so far. Also, pointing out that having nothing to write about is a content, has used up another line and as I finish this specific sentence more content are added to the same. Now, I am a little confused. Lets take stock of whatever I have written. So far I have not written anything remotely informative or related to anything. I intend to go like this for some time now. Why should I write something without contents? It is making no sense, its a waste of time for both the reader and me and it shows my complete lack of interest for my office work. Then again, since I have started writing this, I should may as well finish it. Its a dilemma which I am reflecting upon as I am writing all this. We have an obvious winner. Finishing this would take some effort, as writing about nothing is not easy as it seems. But then again, how hard can it be? I can do it. I have done it so far and I think I have done a good job. Anyway, no one can be a judge of that. I am not sure if I have used the punctuation marks correctly. I believe punctuation marks are very important because it allows the reader to stop for breath. From what I remember, one breath for comma and two for a fullstop. So when I give a fullstop at the end of this para, please pause for two breaths. I am writing this sentence just to add another line in my paragraph. And this one also. I am tired of writing now, and a little bit bored. You guys don't have to worry about spellings in my paragraph. When I finish this paragraph I would run a spell check using the options provided by the blogger. It has a disadvantage. What if I have to use the word- colour in my paragraph and then run the spell test. Do you think I should separate everything I am writing in different paras? Also, do we still leave three finger space while starting a paragraph? I am not understanding. Is there someone who still continues to read this? What is the matter with you man? Don't you have anything more useful and productive to do? And believe me, its not a rhetorical question. Ask yourself one question and you would be surprised with your lack of reasoning- "Why are you still reading this?". Now that we have understood this, I think you should stop reading this. Stop reading this. Am I not clear with this? Why are you still reading? Am I not getting through you? I don't believe you are still reading this. Stop reading. Its amazing that no matter how much I try to convince you, you will continue to read. I just realised that there is nothing in the world I can type right now that would make you stop reading this here. Lets see what else can I write. Isn't reading this paragraph like something you do, and then regret doing it. I just thought of one and only one value addition writing all this has given me. Its has made my index fingers more flexible. I can type faster now. I shouldn't have written all that I have written and you shouldn't have read them. Its actually my fault you read them, I take the repsponsibility and apologise for wasting your time, although I had warned earlier not to read all this. I am getting tired of writing. I think I will stop now. My work is done here. Okay then, I will stop writing now. This will be the last sentence of my paragraph.

How important is the spelling of your name?

How much does the spelling of your name impact your identity? I don't know why some people are so touchy about their name.

I have a friend called Dibya. So? Its a guy. What a pretty name for a man! After 25 years of his life, he realised he was not happy with his name. He legally changed it to Dibyo. Now I think its against the Indian law to pronounce his name with that spelling in mind.

Dibyo? How is that better? Like his name was not bad enough. Initially it was only feminine, now its feminine and Bongish. Why did he do it?

He fought back- "The Y (why) is silent". I had to ask him further.

"So, do you think you will be able to live up to your name?"

He was confused. I was confused.

Is something similar to itself?

Is something similar to itself?

Making such a statement is redundant and unnecessarily time consuming. Amartya Sen argued that something is similar to itself is based on certain assumptions which may be equally considered redundant and unnecessarily time consuming. But the fact is that no statement can be made without assumptions.

1+1=2

Is this a joke? Questioning this is not just a waste of time, but insulting to our grey matter.

This is true. Put 1 in your right packet and count 1 in your right hand. What do you get? 2!!! Its as simple as that. What assumptions are we talking about here?

If we use binary number system, 1+1=10. Why is decimal system the most Earthly excepted calculating system anyway? I don't worry about this assumption anyway because since birth, I have been told to think this way. All existence have similar assumptions which hides the essence of the unknow.

I am not an atheist, I believe in assumptions.

Lets not ignore Australian markets

No one cares about Australian financial markets!

The global financial community is totally ignoring Australia. Its kind of rude. They don't affect the international markets at all. Australian indexes are not that useless. I am sure they indicate something.

Think about the amount of money Australians can make selling kangaroo skin!

"But what about global warming?"

Richa rightly objected. She took a long term view. Because of global warming less people would be wearing warm clothes. Kangaroos are useless indeed.

Varun just finds it very funny.

"They have pouches..... how ridiculous is having a pouch...."

Who gives a fish about colours?

You can tell an artist by his eyes, or his excel sheets.

Some people will highlight in their excel sheets with the most ugly colours possible. If you vomit on those sheets, it would probably look neater. I understand. I am sure they have real things to worry about.

Are good presentations only for sheets without contents?

I had a business plan to sell new Power Point Presentation templates online. But then I thought again. Who gives a fish? I wouldn't buy it myself.

Appearantly black and white are not as much respected as colours. Its very rude of us. Why are black fonts so universally excepted professional font colour? Black colour fonts are only best for people who cannot see.

Once, an old lady at shop where colour TV was sold said-
"Red colour please!"

Penguines eating our society

Imagine penguines eating our society.

Please discontinue reading this blog!!! Its so impossible that its also gramatically incorrect.

At the end of two years of LIBA, me and Agnes made a list of things we had talked about in the last two years. It goes like this-
"1.The muffin man
2. Tail that wags the dog
3. Yellow submarine
4. Sky that is personally painted black
5. The black vertical hump
6. Frog with the quack of a rhinosaurus
7. "Have I began"
8. A banana that ate the monkey
9. The naughty eskimo who ate the yellow snow
10. Henry, the horse"

One would laugh and for a reason. One's logical reasoning would egoistically deprive his/her grey matter to think for itself. In daily life, we like to talk about only relevant things which can be back calculated and logically concluded. Like 1+1=2 or there is no UFOs as they havent contacted us Earthlings yet.

x1 = ( x0 * a + c ) MOD (2^24)

where:x1 = new value
x0 = previous value (an initial value of 327680 is used by Visual Basic)
a = 1140671485
c = 12820163

What does this super cool equation do? I wouldn't know.

While playing Solitaire, you might think- "How creative of my PC to distribute ramdom cards every time." Please think again. The equation is used by PCs to generate random numbers. Can you imagine? Random numbers generated by a logical equation?

Remeber, the clown is always really laughing at us.

The monkey at my office

A marketing guy and a finance guy can never have lunch together.

I realised that while doing my summers in a very well known company (Company's name purposely kept anonymous). The finance guys did not feel that respected. So one fine day they decided to do credit rating of their distributors. The Marketing guys thought the questionnaire was silly, abruptly irrelevant and too personal. They resisted. They did not consider that those finance guys just wanted to feel like a part of what was going on.

Personally, I couldn't care less. I had more serious things to worry about.

As I wrote to my friends describing my summers on 2008,

"I still cant figure out whom to report to. No1 pays attention to me. My project guide does not recognise me (he occasionally calls me by the name of Sarvesh). I think my project is over but I am not too sure. I generally hide in the library from The HR Manager. They have blocked orkut. The caretaker refuses to serve me coffee. The security guard (He is from SDB Cisco) refuses to share his pen for writing on the attendance register. I think someone tried to throw a magazine at me. They all hate me.

And yes, a monkey drank from the leftovers of my coffee (it did happen!!!) "

I am not a number!

I am not a number!

It is very insensitive to call me F07055. I disapprove of any digits assigned to me by educational institutes. Is my name that verbous? This is what Roger Waters called "The Wall".

Homer disagrees- "I've never felt so accepted in all my life. These people look deep within my soul and assign me a number based on the order in which I joined."

I thought I was grown up for all this when I was suddenly assigned an employee number. I guess I am still to make an identity where no one calls me a number.

I am aware, those classroom roll calls were never because the teacher misses you.

Blunt pencil

Is using pencils in office professional?

When I have the requirement of writing something, I reach out to the closest writable object I can find. (Just like I would keep a cd in the closest cd cover I find, and not the cd cover belonging to that particular cd). I am currently using a pencil. A blunt pencil (which is also not all that comfortable as blunt pencils make more noise while writing and each line is fatter than usual.)

What am I afraid of? Not that I am signing cheques with the pencil.

"Ewww, I repeat – ‘Welcome to 21st century!’"
Nidhi seemed quite concerned about the brand of the pencil. I always thought Nataraj was not one of those super looserish brand.

In two years of MBA, Agnes always carried two pens. She is comfortable with using pencils in office. Her only objectiong is something I had not really anticipated for.

Sharpening pencils in Irevna would be highly unprofessional.

An apple and professionalism

Initially The Beatles started a company called Apple Corps. (which obviously closed down extremely quickly as their ideas had no financial backing whatsoever). It is said, an apple a day also keeps doctors away (if aimed right). Apples are also declared by Christian Popes as the forbidden fruit. Even Hindus believe that we should not be attached to fruits (of our action). Newton had an unfortunate encounter with an apple (some people wish it was a coconut), and he came up with the three laws of motion. Captain Barbosa (from Pirates of the Carribean) always carried an apple with him.

As for my symbolism, I carry an ipod. Itz amaing how quickly your perception of the office decor can change if you listen to Roger Waters, even for an hour (Even the excel sheets get psychadelic).

Listening to music during office hours may not be professional, but it keeps me awake.

Correct Temperature Soup

What does goldilocks think of herself? She breaks into a strangers house, drink their soup, and is still complaining about the temperature of the soup. (Bart Simpson outsmarted her, he mixed the hot and cold soup, and drank it.)

When she was found sleeping in the baby bear's bed (apparently other beds were too big for her), she made another big mistake- she ran. Everyone knows we should never run when we see a bear. We should pretend that we are dead (not that we would be pretending for long). I guess that's why the story ended there.

By the end of 2008, we were introduced to the characters again. Goldilocks (bullion) and the three bears again (equity, debt and forex). When the bears were out, people made career decisions to sell gold. Now that gold is reaching new highs, I can safely say it was a huge mistake :P. No one has any clue how warm they wanted their soup.

Astrologers disagree. They call Earth, the Goldilocks planet- neither too hot, nor too cold). Perfect for existence of life. There is a quote in "The Simpsons" on a winter Sunday morning.

"Thanks to global warming, the weather is pleasant"

The training at Irevna has taught me a very important lesson- soups have no temperature.

Cellotape theory

I should buy a cellotape even though I don’t have an urgent requirement??? (for contingency situation). Or is it that only girls needs cellotapes?

But there are problems- which one shud I buy- thin or those fat ones? Transparent or brown? It is also difficult to find the starting point of the tape (specially if my nails are freshly cut). I might need those plastic boxes which help in rollin out and cutting the tapes.

Agnes googled it for me. I knew very little about cellotapes. Its not even one word. Cello is a company that manufactures tapes. Varun insisted its spelled Sellotape.

Eventually, I disagree with myself. Tape theory doesn’t work. What man would keep a torn piece of paper glued together by cello tapes? I mean how desperate are we to keep the paper? The paper is torn. Its time to move on. Write something new and better on a piece of paper that is new and better. Isn’t it what evolution is all about.

Darwinians don’t need cello tape. We prefer evolution instead.

Mastering laziness

Sir Homer simpsons said, "Anything that takes more than 12 steps isn't worth doing!"

Whats common between a saint and a lazy man? They spend their every waking moment to achieve nothingness or sunya. Israel Regardie wrote a book, lazy man's guide to relaxation (and I wonder why it was a small book with big fonts.) He explained how being lazy was not easy. Seinfeld agrees- "I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything. "

I gave laziness a chance at work. I tried pretending to work. I do not understand the concept of pretending to work. If I move my hands in a way it should move, while pretending to work, the work eventually gets down. Its frustrating at times.

I am still trying to master laziness.

The American

Even before my train had left the platform, I knew it would be a long journey. Sitting next to an oversized American I read- “Sensex reaches a new low.” In long journeys I use books and magazines to avoid the awkward silences with complete strangers. So I continued my pretence of reading India Today- “Sensex reaches a new low”.

Every time I read something like this, I die a little bit inside. When I joined my MBA in a particular year, I was forced to time the market. Some might call it luck (or rather the lack of it) and some might call it destiny but the bears have freaked up my returns (placements). But today I had someone to blame it on. The American smiled at me. To my convenience I speculated he was interested in what I was reading.

I read out aloud- “Sensex reaches a new low”
He responded jokingly- “What should I say, I am sorry”

I felt a sense of guilt for making him apologize and shifted a bit to make more room for him to spread his legs. He did. We got talking. He was a strong supporter of The Republicans (although he never voted). I enquired if he had purchased land recently. He had. Rented it out but pretended my question had nothing to do with sub-prime crisis.

And then it happened. My semi-spiritual experience. An IRTC official tried to sell him coffee. To the ordinary coffee seller, the dollar was surely worth less. But his hundred rupee note was also rejected.

The man demanded- “Change?”
I explained- “You need change”

The American needed change. He couldn’t obviously get rupee of his required denomination out of thin air. It was too late. The coffee vendor would not wait long. I guess it was too much for him to bear. Amidst the confusion, a coin fell from his pocket. His words were like poetry to me-

“Rupee has fallen”

Fed Bank’s theory of eternity

Albert Einstein once said- “I have just got a new theory of eternity”. People at Fed bank could not agree more. At the edge of every such perceived eternity is a bubble burst. Just like we witnessed in the sub prime crisis where everyone expected the real estate boom to go on forever. Now we need to be careful- what else does the Fed Bank think would go on forever? Have we seen it all in the sub prime crisis or is it just the tip of an iceberg?

US never runs out of solutions. Bank of America has acquired Merill Lynch. Just another smart move by Americans- one bankrupt company acquiring another bankrupt company. As if they were not doing badly enough by themselves. Its like both companies have huge number of defaulters and are using each other as a guarantee. I am sure the US Government is smarter than this. But there is more. What did you use in the deal? A worthless peace of paper which they call dollars. The Central Bank of US is trying to save Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac which I think is a greater matter of concern than the fallout of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac itself. Let me explain how.

Long back, a fed bank spokesman said- “dollar is my currency but your problem”. He just might have a point there. US dollars have this special position in the world as it is most commonly used across the globe as a medium of exchange, even between two currencies. We see central banks of many countries keeping dollar as reserves. Why? Is it because it is considered the safest, even safer than the gold? The US has been long importing goods by printing more and more dollars. If the central bank of a country has enough dollars, it sells it treasury only to pay it back in dollars with interest. All any country is left with is more dollars.

So we have here a country in the middle of its biggest regulatory failure printing dollars with sky as its limit. How else could it save AIG or others? Would you call it a smart move? Doesn’t US have anything to loose if its floods the already flooded market with more dollars?

Now either they can print dollars till eternity or there will come a day when people will stand up and say- “we have had enough of dollars, now what about some real money?”

Don’t eat the yellow snow

On 15th April, 1987, there was panic in USA. 7 million children went missing overnight. 7 million amounted to 1 in every 10 dependent children in the country. It was something unheard of. What could possibly be the reason? Steven D Levitt points out that this was because a new law which was enforced where every child eligible for deduction from taxes should have a social security number. So all the fictitious dependent children existing only in papers for tax deduction (connected to some 1040 form) vanished overnight.

Now days we see that everyone is talking about Chinese goods being so cheap so much that they have a new term for this- Chinese price (which means cheap price). Is their production so efficient that no country can beat it? The truth is that they have artificially devalued their currency against dollars and so whatever they export is cheap thus also causing a global imbalance. To add to this US has been printing dollars like there is no tomorrow. (For them, that just might be the case.)

Mr. Bush (how does he sleep at night) justifies his action affirming all the time- 9/11 CHANGED EVERYTHING. Whatever happened on 9th of November! (they are the only country who dates things this way). Meanwhile across Atlantic Ocean, UK doesn’t go public with their M1, M2 or M3 data (I am not sure what they are, but apparently they are very important).

Coming to India CITI Bank was busy selling its office furniture and I read a statement made by a senior CITI Banker. He claimed that the sub-prime crisis was not effecting its operations in India. I am also in the opinion that it makes sense that in India the Government employees do not pay service tax- they hardly provide any service.

Okay, now here was a list of non connected information. Now what should we infer from that? I would like this opportunity to quote the greatest letter ever written which I feel is somewhat ignored my mankind. It’s a letter from Mahatma Gandhi to a non- German- Hitler (he was an Austrian).

“It is quite clear that you are today the one person in the world who can prevent a war which may reduce humanity to savage state. Must you pay that price for an object however worthy it may appear to you to be? Will you listen to the appeal of one who has deliberately shamed the methods of war not without considerable success? Anyway I anticipate your forgiveness, if I have erred in writing to you.

I remain,

Your Sincere friend

M. K. Gandhi”

Master Frank Zappa explains all this with a beautiful story. Its about the naughty Eskimo who ate the yellow snow. A stranger from the commercial world took a cone of yellow snow (from where the dogs go) and rubbed it in his eyes. And since then the Eskimo cannot see, temporarily. The commercial world has stripped us of our sight. If we sell our soul and earned money, is it actually smart business? Reaching for glory we have to also see the price we are paying for it cause any castle built on lies is but temporary. You can ask the president of United States (or Uma Bharti for that matter).

In words of Homer Simpsons- “Money cant buy everything, for example dinosaurs”

Do monkeys eat bananas?

With a little embarrassment I borrowed a book from the LIBA library. A yellow book named- “stock market for dummies”. Why? Because looking at the stock market from a dummy’s perspective just might not be that bad an idea. Here’s how. Every second person you meet who invests happens to be a market expert (of course it would reflect differently if you check their portfolio profits). I was looking for a different approach.

What am I trying to imply? We are all looking for patterns in technical and fundamental analysis using our logical reasoning. (I won’t even mention the number of trading that goes on based on market tips and rumors, dhoh!!!). They think they know it all. And why shouldn’t they? There is pattern everywhere. Or is there? There are other people who believe that stock market follows no pattern. Its fluctuations are random with no logic. So this brings us to the debate- are stock market movements random or it follows some logic. I looked for answers in one of the greatest conversations ever-

”Einstein: One tries to understand in the higher plane how the order is. The order is there, where the big elements combine and guide existence, but in the minute elements this order is not perceptible.
Tagore: Thus duality is in the depths of existence, the contradiction of free impulse and the directive will which works upon it and evolves an orderly scheme of things.

Einstein: Even the red flower I see before me on your table may not be the same to you and me.
Tagore: And yet there is always going on the process of reconciliation between them, the individual taste conforming to the universal standard.”

And it brought me to the next question- Why did the chicken cross the road? Was there an underlying reason or was it something as random as a chicken actually crossing the road? Is there a higher pattern in all these uncoordinated activities or these higher patterns are by itself something uncoordinated? I was simply left with more questions.

I know what you are thinking of right now- where does a monkey eating a banana come in? Is it something random or does it have a meaning? Lets ask ourselves- why are monkeys universally associated with bananas? Lets think clearly. Their diet includes fruits, berries, seeds, leaves, grass, herbs, shrubs, crops, insects, eggs, birds and rodents. They love to eat flowers. So does a monkey eat bananas all that much? Then why is everybody mindlessly making such association?

What I do not know must be true, or else I would be super rich.