Who takes care of HR needs of an HR manager?

Agnes has done it again. She took all the trust and Loyalty for her company and back stabbed her immediate boss with it.

But what did she do? She accidentally applied to work for Bharti. So? Little did she realised she was already working there. I don't think her boss would have appreciated it very much.

"What are you still doing here? Dint I fire you last year?"

Think about what her previous boss would feel if he ran into her in one of the office party. People get inspired to grow in an organisation internally. She found a shortcut. As an HR manager, she decided to recruit herself.

We can blame the system. No company takes care of the HR needs of an HR managers. They should have a separate department for the HR needs of the HR department. The separate department will also have HR needs for which another department would be required. And this can go on.

There is no solution. But we cannot blame Agnes for the cosmological problem of the eternal need for circular loops of HR managers going on till infinity which if you think about it hides some answers of life and death.

Congress sent two elephants to Japan

I do not understand diplomacy.

Imagine this. Japanese officials went to recieve the Indian diplomats at the airport. They find two elephants standing next to them. The Indian diplomats insists that they should take home these elephants as gifts from their side. How would the Japanese feel about it? How would they react? (Appearantly in turn the Japanese sent two blue sheeps to India)

Nehru started all this. He forgot that people dont use elephants these days. We have cars and heavy duty vehicles. Now elephants are only used in South Indian temples. Also, forest conservationists do not mind elephants destroying trees as itz supposed to be natural.

Indian human right activist folks objected sending elephants for diplomatic causes. They called it inhuman. Nehru had more things to worry about. Japan had just got out of second world war, they needed some break.

Seinfeld has made a very good point. Human right activists do not care about insects.

Feng Shui Masters see calm stock market in the year of ox.

"You would rather become a fortune teller"
I met a very interesting person. He opined that Fundamental analysis not only dint make sense, but was morally wrong.

The Chinese Feng Shui had better predicted the markets in 2008 than any fundamental analysts. They somehow knew about the meltdown. They called it a year of rats. But good times are expected to come now. The water elementals will somehow cool the stock markets and then in the year of Ox the markets would eventually calm down. Ox is apparently linked to Earth elemental which is relatively calmer than elementals in the year of rats.

I have eventually got some directions. Fundamental analysis without following up with the five elementals of the universe is irresponsible investment advice.

I urgently need a teapot.

I was making a list of things people have gifted me in the last two years-

1. A deodorant
2. A black shirt with words written on it (which is not only offensive to the reader but female gender overall).
3. A pen.
4. A bright red cargo pants which makes me look gay.
5. A mini picture of Sri Aurobindo (the gifter thought it was a picture of Tagore)
6. A music CD with extremely abusive lyrics
7. A half burnt candle
8. A yellow plastic duck.

9. A second hand book.
And yes, someone has promised to buy me a celotape from her first salary.

Now, can someone please buy me some real gifts? Something I can really use. Like a teapot. I dont have a teapot. What should I do when I have to drink tea?

How embarassing would it be if I had to pour tea directly into the cup.

Axis is not an imaginary line

Anil Ambani removes Mukesh from his facebook friend's list, Sensex down 200 points.

I read this in one of the funny news. Anil realised this in a Texas Poker room where his wife could chat with Mukesh, while he could not. Indian stock market got sentimental about it. Its surely funny but also something to think about. We are not even sure how to pronounce finance-

Is it pronounced /fainaens/ or /fInaens/?

The underwear index. The US analysts came up with a new index to measure the economy. They found the sale of underwear in US had fallen due to recession. This was unusual as underwear has always been considered as a necessity than a luxury. They figured that although people still wore underwear, but now they were more dirty.

Is it just me or are we really missing a point here????

Warren Buffet would bank on Earth's axis and buy stocks selling Air Conditioners when the axis running through his part of the planetary hemisphere is away from the sun. As long as we rotate, there will be a day after night and the world will completely turnaround everyday.

There is a reason why Warren would buy sweaters only in summer, because Earth's axis is not an imaginary line.

Horse's latitude

Would anyone buy numbers?

We can call SBI a risk taker. They took two core marketing students from LIBA and gave them core finance job. How creative? What can a marketing guy do with all those numbers.

I partially believed in communism before I met Sherwin last week. If you take a view from the top, you will see mortal remains of what was once a fully flourished hair of young hearted man. Whatever SBI did to this man from middle east.

"May I please go to the toilet?"

It seems he asks his manager in office everytime he needs to go. But then why is he smiling? And what is horse's latitude?

Horse's latitude (also known as subtropical high) is the region between 30 to 35 degrees North and South of the equator. Legend tells us that around this region sailors for religious objectives threw horses into the sea. Some now think it was to help the ships pass through the storms caused by high pressure around that region.

He knows in times of trouble, the Government will collect taxes from us civilians and pay him his salary. A private company wouldn't care less. As we saw in 2008 meltdown, completely useless companies firing completely useless people.

Government job may make you fat, but atleast you would never feel jettisoned.

Don't read this, or else you will get a little bit dumber!

Am I writing this? Please dont read this particular paragraph as it will prove a complete waste of your time and effort. I have nothing really to write about. So there will be no value addition whatsoever if you read this. So the next thought is that if I am writing about nothing, what should be the content. Its funny that the fact that I have nothing to write about is the content so far. Also, pointing out that having nothing to write about is a content, has used up another line and as I finish this specific sentence more content are added to the same. Now, I am a little confused. Lets take stock of whatever I have written. So far I have not written anything remotely informative or related to anything. I intend to go like this for some time now. Why should I write something without contents? It is making no sense, its a waste of time for both the reader and me and it shows my complete lack of interest for my office work. Then again, since I have started writing this, I should may as well finish it. Its a dilemma which I am reflecting upon as I am writing all this. We have an obvious winner. Finishing this would take some effort, as writing about nothing is not easy as it seems. But then again, how hard can it be? I can do it. I have done it so far and I think I have done a good job. Anyway, no one can be a judge of that. I am not sure if I have used the punctuation marks correctly. I believe punctuation marks are very important because it allows the reader to stop for breath. From what I remember, one breath for comma and two for a fullstop. So when I give a fullstop at the end of this para, please pause for two breaths. I am writing this sentence just to add another line in my paragraph. And this one also. I am tired of writing now, and a little bit bored. You guys don't have to worry about spellings in my paragraph. When I finish this paragraph I would run a spell check using the options provided by the blogger. It has a disadvantage. What if I have to use the word- colour in my paragraph and then run the spell test. Do you think I should separate everything I am writing in different paras? Also, do we still leave three finger space while starting a paragraph? I am not understanding. Is there someone who still continues to read this? What is the matter with you man? Don't you have anything more useful and productive to do? And believe me, its not a rhetorical question. Ask yourself one question and you would be surprised with your lack of reasoning- "Why are you still reading this?". Now that we have understood this, I think you should stop reading this. Stop reading this. Am I not clear with this? Why are you still reading? Am I not getting through you? I don't believe you are still reading this. Stop reading. Its amazing that no matter how much I try to convince you, you will continue to read. I just realised that there is nothing in the world I can type right now that would make you stop reading this here. Lets see what else can I write. Isn't reading this paragraph like something you do, and then regret doing it. I just thought of one and only one value addition writing all this has given me. Its has made my index fingers more flexible. I can type faster now. I shouldn't have written all that I have written and you shouldn't have read them. Its actually my fault you read them, I take the repsponsibility and apologise for wasting your time, although I had warned earlier not to read all this. I am getting tired of writing. I think I will stop now. My work is done here. Okay then, I will stop writing now. This will be the last sentence of my paragraph.